Supporting Kids’ Emotional Health
In the Lab with:
Dave Anderson, Ph.D.
Vice President, School and Community Programs at the Child Mind Institute
School-based programs directed by Dr. Anderson have provided clinical interventions, mental health skill-building, and workshops for more than 60,000 students, educators, and caregivers in over 1,000 schools in New York and California. Read more about his work here, including links to his latest articles.
Connect with Dr. Anderson on LinkedIn.
Follow him on Twitter.
For research to serve its full purpose, it must be a benefit to society. Ordinary people should not be left on their own to bear the weight of figuring out what the research means and how to use it.
Dave Anderson, Ph.D., provides a wonderful roadmap for how we can take steps today to improve kids’ emotional lives.
Form a close
relationship
Create balanced wellness routines
Build emotional health skills
Form a Close Relationship
Forming close relationships in your life is a bedrock for supporting emotional health.
Relationship Building Blocks:
Be available to youth and let them know you are here for emotional support
Spend quality 1:1 time
Cultivate common interests
Model how to positively cope with stressful situations
Be aware of the challenges they face – particularly in transitions to a new developmental stage
Establish structure and set limits – be as nurturing and supportive as you can be of their journey, but don’t be afraid to set limits or establish structure
LISTEN TO LEARN MORE ABOUT
FORMING A CLOSE RELATIONSHIP
Conversation Starters
“What are you curious about right now?”
“What could we do together right now?”
“What did you have the most fun with today?”
Call To Action
Dedicate 30 minutes of uninterrupted time to learn more about a new interest of a child in your life.
With young children you can take part in playing with blocks or dolls or cars while chatting. Sometimes one-on-one time feels harder with teenagers. Connecting with adolescents is often about putting aside our own interests, being with them in a non-judgmental way, cultivating time together, and helping them feel we value what they value – even if we don’t agree.
TIP: Don’t assume that if you’re with a child or adolescent, they know you’re fully available to them. Let them know explicitly. This may sound like: “I just want you to know that the reason my phone is in the other room and I’m in the living room with you is because I really want you to know that I’m here for you and if you want to talk, I’d love to.”
Create Balanced Wellness Routines
Creating basic habits of wellness is foundational to making significant impact on emotional health
Healthy Habits:
Establish consistent morning and evening routines
Create a sleep schedule that ensures adequate hours of sleep
Ensure physical activity and move your body in some way every day
Eat a balanced diet – stay hydrated
Make time to relax or engage in unstructured activities
Uphold clear guidelines about healthy screen-related behavior
LISTEN TO LEARN MORE ABOUT CREATING A BALANCED WELLNESS ROUTINE
Conversation Starters
“What could we do to move our bodies together?”
“What is your favorite healthy food?”
“What is something you do that makes you feel really good about yourself?”
Call To Action
Choose one healthy habit to discuss with a child in your life and explore three ways they can have fun supporting it.
Remember, wellness begins with small steps, not complete overhauls. Talk about how healthy habits will make our bodies and minds strong and be lots of fun. Brainstorm all the fun ways you can enjoy healthy habits and build in incentives as you progress along the way.
TIP: An important way to help the kids on our lives is by modeling those behaviors we want them to explore. Make sure you are building the healthy habits into your life as well and creating opportunities where children can easily observe you practicing them.
Build Emotional Health Skills
Building emotional health skills helps to normalize speaking about thoughts, feelings and beliefs; builds skills that children can use in challenging situations; gives kids a framework to make choices in how they think and act; and helps create a safe and affirming environment.
Getting Started:
Talk about and understand feelings. Identify feelings – sometimes we experience more than one emotion at the same time. Recognize the different intensities in any given situation.
Use behaviors to activate positive thoughts and feelings. Make a list of behaviors that activate positive feelings and choose one or two behaviors to include in the child’s schedule each week. (ie. service activities, fun activities, social activities, activities to learn a new skill, physical activities).
Practice mindfulness. Increase self-awareness to help be more present in everyday activities. We can do this informally in any moment by bringing more attention and intention to what we are doing.
LISTEN TO LEARN MORE ABOUT BUILDING EMOTIONAL HEALTH SKILLS
Conversation Starters
Are there any big feelings you are having today? My biggest feelings are ________________.”
“What is the smallest sound you’re noticing right now?”
“Lets look around and see what beautiful things we can spot.”
Call To Action
Choose one healthy habit to discuss with a child in your life and explore three ways they can have fun supporting it.
Remember, wellness begins with small steps, not complete overhauls. Talk about how healthy habits will make our bodies and minds strong and be lots of fun. Brainstorm all the fun ways you can enjoy healthy habits and build in incentives as you progress along the way.
TIP: An important way to help the kids on our lives is by modeling those behaviors we want them to explore. Make sure you are building the healthy habits into your life as well and creating opportunities where children can easily observe you practicing them.