Navigating Big Emotions
Including Interactive Emotion Cards
In the Lab with:
Dylan Gee, Ph.D.
Dylan Gee, Ph.D., Associate Professor, Department of Psychology, Yale University. Director of the Clinical Affective Neuroscience & Development Lab (CANDLab) her work is inspired by the profound ways that childhood experiences shape lifelong health.
Dr. Gee, a member of our Scientific Advisory Board, worked with the Walden Wise team to help CoCreators learn about the importance of feeling all emotions and discover practical ways to support the kids they care about in navigating the ups and downs of life.
Can learning to navigate emotions such as sadness, fear or anger help kids develop a rich inner life and positive social relationships? YES! Join us on a feeling adventure with Dylan Gee, Ph.D. and learn practical ways to help kids navigate all emotions with our Emotion Health Quiz and interactive Big Emotion Cards.
“So often we try to help the kids we care about avoid emotions that feel distressing. As a parent, seeing my child for example, feeling scared, brings me distress too. And here’s the thing, we know from our research that it’s critically important for kids to be supported in experiencing all emotions.”
Dylan Gee, Ph.D.
Rethinking Negative and Positive: Why All Emotions Matter
By labeling emotions as “negative” or “positive”, we create the perception that some feelings are bad, and others are good. This often leads kids (and adults) to try and avoid certain emotions and only feel ones like joy, calm, or curious. Sometimes this labeling goes even further as kids receive messages that even emotions like excitement aren’t always appropriate.
Dr. Gee’s research shows that while some emotions can be challenging to experience, all of them are an important source of information about what’s going on inside us and in helping us learn to navigate the world around us. Kids don’t learn this skill on their own.
Listen as Dr. Gee shares more about the importance of helping kids learn the value of all emotions.
“Caring adults play a key role in actively helping kids learn to navigate the full range of emotional experiences they will encounter in life.”
Dylan Gee, Ph.D.
Three Ways CoCreators Can Support Kids
Dylan Gee, Ph.D. outlines three key strategies for CoCreators to support kids in developing strong emotional navigation skills throughout their development:
Consciously enabling children to learn by watching how an adult in their life responds to emotional experiences and then imitating what they observe.
Modeling
Children are supported in responding to strong emotional experiences by being with an adult who can remain calm and present with them, helping them understand their thoughts, feelings and responses.
Providing regulation
Conversation and sharing stories
Conversation is a powerful part of CoCreating practice, including asking questions and creating an opportunity for kids to share their experience, in addition to sharing stories of our own experiences.
Learn more about how to put these strategies to work in your life with our Emotion Navigator: Empowering Kids Through Every Feeling.
CoCreator Emotional Health Check-up
One of the key steps in consciously modelling emotional skills for kids, includes taking time to nurture your own emotional health. Interested in learning more? Try our CoCreator Emotional Health Check-up. And remember, the critical role of self-compassion and self-awareness in your CoCreating practice – meet yourself where you are and use this quiz to uncover your next right step.
Big Emotion Cards
A Toolkit for Help Kids Navigate Feelings
Based on the CANDLab research, Dr. Gee helps us explore twelve foundational emotions. Use our interactive Big Emotion Cards to explore or build your practice. Return to them when a particular emotion shows up for a child and you need some support helping them navigate it.
“Having early experiences of positive emotional support from a nurturing, stable adult is essential to healthy brain development and the development of emotion regulation.”
Dylan Gee, Ph.D.
Hover over each card to reveal quick descriptions and talking points.
EMOTION CARD
Anger
Recognize it
Feeling upset about something someone does to you. When someone takes your toy or treats a friend badly.
Talking Points
"I noticed you were feeling angry earlier. Can you tell me what happened and why it made you feel that way? Let's talk about ideas for expressing anger in a way that doesn’t hurt you or others."
EMOTION CARD
Calm
Recognize it
Feeling tranquil, mindful or at peace. When you want to sit quietly and savor the moment.
Talking Points
This may be a special time to sit together and simply take in the moment without the need to talk.
EMOTION CARD
Curious
Recognize it
A feeling of wanting to know something or explore something new to you. When a child bends down to examine a shiny rock on the ground.
Talking Points
“It looks like you’re feeling curious about ____. It’s fun to explore new things. What’s captured your imagination?”
EMOTION CARD
Embarrassed
Recognize it
Feeling nervous or uncomfortable about something you’re self-conscious about, like not knowing the answer to a teacher’s question.
Talking Points
“Feeling embarrassed can be so tough in the moment. I often felt embarrassed when I was young, especially when I couldn’t answer my teacher’s questions. I would go so red in the face.”
EMOTION CARD
Excited
Recognize it
Feeling really thrilled, eager, or full of energy about something. When you plan a trip to a theme park you’ve always wanted to visit.
Talking Points
"You look really excited! What is making you feel this way? Let's talk about the things that make you feel excited and why they feel so good."
EMOTION CARD
Fear
Recognize it
Feeling scared about a real or perceived threat. When you go to a new daycare or need to do something new.
Talking Points
"It's OK to feel afraid in this situation, you're not alone. Can you share something that you're afraid will happen? Let's talk about some of the ways this situation might actually support you to feel more confident."
EMOTION CARD
Frustration
Recognize it
Feeling upset or impatient because something isn’t working the way you expected. When you can’t solve a puzzle or math problem.
Talking Points
"I see that you're feeling frustrated. It's okay to feel that way when things don't go the way you planned. Can you tell me what's causing your frustration? Let's talk about ways you could feel like you're taking positive steps forward."
EMOTION CARD
Joy
Recognize it
Feeling an expanding sense of freedom, connection or appreciation. Accomplishing something big or sitting and enjoying a beautiful sunset can bring feelings of joy.
Talking Points
""Joy is such a wonderful feeling. Let’s take a moment to savor this experience together and really enjoy it."
EMOTION CARD
Sad
Recognize it
Feeling unhappy or disappointed because something didn’t go well or you miss someone, like when a beloved pet dies, or you have to miss a special occasion.
Talking Points
"You seem a little sad. It's okay to feel that way. Can you tell me what's making you feel sad? Remember, I'm here to listen and support you through all your emotions."
EMOTION CARD
Shame
Recognize it
Feeling badly about something you’ve done that you believe wasn’t right, like when saying rude or mean things to someone out of anger.
Talking Points
"Sometimes we say or do mean, hurtful things to others that we know aren’t right and then after we feel shame. I’ve felt this too and when I talk about it with some else, it always helps me understand what happened and how to use shame to do better. I’m here to support you."
EMOTION CARD
Surprise
Recognize it
Feeling amazed or startled, like when a friend jumps out from behind a bush or you get a really fun gift you weren’t expecting.
Talking Points
"That seemed to surprise you! Surprise can feel unsettling or like a sudden rush of energy. What surprised you the most and how are you feeling?"
EMOTION CARD
Worry
Recognize it
A feeling that something bad might happen in the future, like getting worried you might fail a test that’s coming up.
Talking Points
"Are you feeling worried about your test next week? You want to do well and it’s ok to feel worried. Sometimes I get worried too. Let’s talk about the things that are really true about your schoolwork."
Scaffolding Emotional Growth & Navigating Big Feelings
Children observe and learn from adults in navigating their emotional worlds. Scaffolding provides structure, allowing children to develop their own emotional skills. Dr. Gee highlights the significance of giving children the space to feel and express their emotions while providing a stable presence and setting appropriate boundaries. As they grow, the balance shifts, and teenagers begin exploring their own emotional worlds.
Listen as Dr. Gee talks about the importance of scaffolding and helping kids navigate big feelings.
Interested in more resources to support Scaffolding Emotional Growth?
Get quick tips with our Practice Pointer:
Paving the Way to Independence: How Adults Scaffold Kids Emotional Growth
Dive deeper into the Scaffolding Emotional Growth Guiding Practice
CoCreating with Kids: Science-Based Practices to Enhance Emotional Health